The meaning of being a mother

I knew all my life that I wanted to be a mother. My transition into motherhood was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I used to envy those mummies who are beautiful, stylish and still have a life of their own despite having children. I wished I was one of them. When I became a mother, I realized there are sacrifices to be made. It's quite impossible to wear beautiful jewelery, stylish clothing, high heels, go partying, out late and stuff without compromising your child. These are not bad mummies, just that... I can't seems to be like them. I used to pity those bleary-eyed new mommy friends of mine whose lives were so engrossed in their drooling, demanding infants that they lost all sense of themselves.

Now, I'm one of them. I'm an unkempt, sleep-deprived mom who permanently has nothing but baby on the brain. For almost eighteen months now, since a 2.92kgs whirlwind named Reese entered the world, my life has been absconded.

This mommy business is hard work. It's round-the-clock, thankless, exhausting and the pay sucks. What do I get in return? A sweet smelling cherubic being with a cheeky smile smiling at you. Now that makes all the sacrifices seem so insignificant!

Baby how-to books skip over the hard stuff. They boil motherhood down to clinical explanations of colic and constipation. None mentioned how much a little person changes your life for better and worse. None ever tells you how emotionally draining being a mother can be. How you can be so devoid of sleep to the point of delirium, and yet blissfully contented and satisfied with your new role. How just when you think you finally have five minutes to yourself, your baby wakes up and you move without hesitation, unselfishly to attend to his needs.

But the payoffs of motherhood well, I didn't expect such bounty either.

I have finally found someone who will allow me to hug and kiss and sing and teach and...etc for as long as I want! :) No complaints... just smiles...

The first few minutes when he wakes up makes all the whining, all the rocking, all the sleepless nights worth it. Every morning, I watch in awe as Reese rubs his eyes with the back of his chubby little hands.

Then he catches a glimpse of me out of the corner of his eye and breaks into a cheeky grin. There's no better way to begin a day.

And not a day has passed since he was born that I haven't thought the same thing: If I never do another thing in my life, I've made a person.

And the neat thing about that is that I've made a person that is part me and part someone I love endlessly.