Asynchronous Development and Overxicitabilities

I am always fascinated with my boy's mind. It is very complex and advance and yet..... there are some parts that demonstrate a big contrast. Go figure!

Reese made some interesting words on the game board. Can you spot a word that is totally out of place?

Children like Reese who are exceptionally or profoundly gifted usually face uneven development known as asynchronous development coupled with various intensities. Overexcitabilities(OE) are inborn intensities indicating a heightened ability to respond to stimuli. They are expressed in increased sensitivity, awareness and intensity. There are five areas of overexcitabilities namely psychomotor,  emotional, intellectual, imaginational and sensual as identified by Kazimierz Dabrowski (1902-1980).

Here is what asynchronicity looks like in our home. Reese is chronologically 7 but has the intellectual age of 13-14. His social emotional maturity varies and probably a little behind. His gross/fine motor skills is on par. This boy is many ages at once. This can make certain situation very difficult. 

What can I do to help? Sometimes I feel helpless. I can only stand aside and watch. I have to keep reminding myself to accept my boy the way he is. He can be so annoying/irritating sometimes. :) Reese has four overexcitabilities and is very high in Psychomotor, Intellectual and Imaginational OE in particular.

Psychomotor

Children with a dominant psychomotor OE are energetic and active. The surplus of energy is demonstrated through rapid speech, zealous enthusiasm, intense physical activity and a need for action. They derive great joy from their boundless physical and verbal enthusiasm and activity but others may find them over-whelming. 

**This is sooooo Reese. He cannot be still and talks constantly. Even I find it irritating sometimes! :)

Intellectual

This is demonstrated by a marked need to seek understanding and truth, to gain knowledge and to analyse and synthesise. Children with a dominant Intellectual OE have very active minds. They are intensely curious, avid readers and very keen observers. They have incredibly detailed visual recall and often independent thinkers! When something interest them, they are able to have prolong engagement with the subject with great concentration. 

**Reese loves non-fiction. He will devour whatever comes his way! His general knowledge is incredible and a very keen observer. When he is into something he likes, it is hard to tear him away from it! His drawings are incredibly detailed and he can spend a long time doing it.

Imaginational

The main sign of this intensity is the free play of the imagination. Their vivid imaginations can cause them to visualise the worst possibility in any situation. They also have a good sense of humour.

**Reese is highly creative in his imagination and always the clown in the family. His drawings are incredible and full of imagination and stories.

Sensual

The main sign of this intensity is a heightened awareness of all five senses: sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. They have an increased and early appreciation of aesthetic pleasures such as music, language and art and derive endless delight from taste, smells, textures, sounds and sights. With increased sensitivity, they may also feel over-stimulated or uncomfortable with sensory input.

**Reese has an issue with loud sounds (better now), loves soft and silky texture, loves the taste of food and sometimes he is sensitive to light. 

With a child like mine, a regular school will not be a good fit for him. I bet he will be branded as a naughty, lazy boy by teachers because I know he will not take instructions well, cannot sit still and definitely will not do and write pages of worksheets! He will argue with his teachers too..... :) There... the life of Reese! Really not easy to raise this boy of mine. 

Parenting a Gifted Child...

Sometimes I forgot that Reese is only 6. He finds so much pleasure in watching Mickey Mouse Club House cartoon or reading simple picture books and laughing his head off! Hearing such beautiful laughter always brings joy to me and yet, I felt bad sometimes because I treat him like an older child. It is so easy to just forget how young Reese is. One of my biggest issue with him is the way he behaves publicly especially during group activities. He just cannot sit still and take instructions from others. He wants to do things his way. I find it really hard to control him and most of the time I have to threaten him in order to get him to cooperate. It never last though. He is not naughty, he just cannot sit still and is always eager to get first hand experience with whatever that is on display. *sigh*

It is sometimes hard to juggle the older Reese and the younger Reese. One moment he talks about the composition of a Carbon -14 or a Nitrogen - 14 and the next, he whines and cries at the most unreasonable request..... It is tough dealing with a kid like him. He is very sensitive and cries easily. It breaks my heart seeing him sad and the guilt sets in. The real killer is when he expresses his sadness or disappointment to me verbally (Speaks like an adult) with big fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

Parenting is really guess work isn't it? No one child is the same. At the end of the day we have to do trial and error to parent our child to the best of our abilities! Parenting a highly gifted child is very challenging. I have to constantly think of ways to make sure he is given the appropriate intellectual stimulation so that he doesn't get bored and at the same time I do not want to over do it. A balance in everything he does is important. We want him to be happy and be as normal as possible. We want him to fit in well with his peers and lead a normal life.

I thank God that I am still able to help him in his intellectual development but I think in two or three years I will seriously need to find him mentors! It is actually quite exhausting trying to catch up with him intellectually. I do not have the luxury of time and a sharp mind with superb memory and thus learning new things becomes a chore for me. I was never an A star student. Sometimes I think God is punishing me now for not studying hard in school! Ha!

Do you know it is expensive raising a highly gifted child? The exposure, the books and resources we give him... we rarely think twice when spending money on Reese! It is totally worth it when you see him smile from all the pleasure he gets when reading/playing or simply learning.

Reese's version of Sagrada Familia, Spain

Gifted Education Conference

Dear parents and educators,

If you are interested to know more about gifted children do sign up for the coming Gifted Education Conference jointly organised by National Association of Gifted Children Malaysia and The Australian International School.

Check out their website for more information:
http://www.aism.edu.my/gec2012/

Reese's art will be on display at the conference. If you happen to be there, do sign our guest book!!

Yesterday I was on air with two other speakers on BFM radio station. We talked about meeting the needs of the gifted children.

Here is the podcast:

http://www.bfm.my/assets/files/TheBiggerPicture/2012-11-01_KylieBooker_ZuhairahAli_FlorenceWong_GiftedChildren.mp3