I was talking to mummy blogger Christine over msn yesterday and the topic about having a second child came about. She is expecting her second one. Then as we talk about the joy and possible nightmare of caring a second one....She shared about her friend once told her that....
The greatest inheritance or gift to your child is not money but SIBLINGS. Mmmmm... at first my reaction to it was...Wow... she further shared that siblings can help out with financial burdens, care for the parents when they get old...etc... She will share more on her blog soon. I agree but later in the evening..... it also crossed my mind that sometimes...sibblings can also cause problems... of course there are more good than bad but from personal experience..... not my own sibbling...but some relatives..... some sibblings are a nuisance and cause heartache and financial burdens to their other sibblings.
So... it all depends huh? Will I have number two? I wish...but there are still many concerns.. I worry about finances because the way we want Reese to be educated...it cost a lot of money and if second one comes along...we have to be fair right? Can we cope with two kids? Will we give the same amount of time and love for the second one? Can we be totally fair to the second one?
There are so many questions in our heads... all I can think of is pray hard and let God decide what's best. I would love Reese to have a brother or sister to play with. Less lonely. Hai.....
Oh...if I am successful with home schooling Reese...then financially...we can support a second one..haha... materials can be reused. Home school till 12 and send them to private school (international syllabus) and then college and do a 3+0 degree here. If there is any spare money then a 2+1 degree.... It's good to give them overseas exposure. That's basically my plan for Reese.
Good education is so expensive these days. I was checking some recommended kindies and they range from RM8xx to about 1k plus per month. As for private school (international syllabus), it's about 18k per year. College and Uni...depending on the courses...it's also more than 15k per year... So you see.... it's expensive. So if we have number two.... you do the math...
Oh..we also have to make sure that we save enough for our retirement so that we won't burden Reese financially and hope that Reese won't burden us either.... hahaha...
Kathie, mumsgather, blessed mum... care to share your experience as a mother of two? What was it like initially? How did you cope with a newborn and a toddler... do you compare the kids? are you fair to them? Please share...
Kathie, mumsgather, blessed mum... care to share your experience as a mother of two? What was it like initially? How did you cope with a newborn and a toddler... do you compare the kids? are you fair to them? Please share...
9 comments:
it's tough! financial wise, it's burning a big hole now esp I am working partime, instead of full time (you may read my blog as to the events leading to this decision) seriously, I think there's nothing left for our retirement.
so far, I dont think I compare my kids as they are unique and different, one girl and one boy mah.
opps!! u didnt ask me and I comment so much! paiseh!!
Ling,
Hey...nothing to be paiseh..I didn't know that you have more than 1 kid...hahah....
Thank you for sharing... by the way...did you spend as much time with the second one as compared to the first? You mean you can be totally fair ah? no bias at all ah? hehehe....
when my son was still an infant, I think I spend more time with my girl as she had some jealousy in her mind. Got to keep her company just in case she disliked her brother.
When my boy grew up, I should say I spend equal time. I am fair to both of them. Whoever is in the wrong, I will scold. No bias, but it's different for my hubby. I can see he sayang the eldest more ...
My girl's kindy charges about RM230 (the RM30 extra is for Mandarin class which is optional) and I thought THAT was expensive!
BTW, I've shared my views here. Be warned its rather long winded. Haha.
Thank you Ling, really appreciate your input... so the elder one still gets more love..haha
Thanks Mumsgather...
Wah.. you really did wrote alot on this topic... very informative...in a way... I am more comforted. :)
This is gonna be a very long one..
The financial strain came only when they both started going to kindy but ease after they goes to Pri. We tried to save on everything..they share from uniform to books etc..As for future education, we bought those insurance saving plan for them, so should be ok accordingly to the financial planner...
When my 2nd was still a baby, I spent most of my time with my eldest. We did things 2gether with 2nd too like reading books and playing. They are very very close even till now although they often bricker but we know they loved each other.
And now, the 2 of them help me a lot in taking care of their brother. Honestly, I never ever regret having them. They each have their own wonderful virtue.
To be very honest, I think every parent will tends to compare (its human nature) but we don't showed it and we play fair. However, we instil in 1st that she being the eldest must look after the little ones and I think she got the msg.
overall, its abt management (Time and Money). Don't worry too much abt tomorrow, He will take care of it...just Trust HIM.
Probably u think and plan too much. Most important is what you and your soulmate want for the family (family of 3 or 4 or 5 or even 6). Although education is important, that doesn't mean a local uni graduate cannot be a successful man in the future. So, don't let "financial burden" hinder you from producing more (if you wish to have more than 1).
Thank you Rachel and Soo Li for sharing... I guess I am the type that worries too much... :) will see how it goes.... I have till next year to decide..haha
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