Mother's Day

It's coming... are you excited? I am not actually. :)

Why? I guess because it hasn't really sunk in that I am a mother and Reese is too young to understand the meaning of mother's day. Anyway... It's not really a big deal. It has become so commercialized that I don't find it special anymore. In fact.... alot of special days are no longer that special anymore. My sister and I used to make or buy cards for my mother together with a gift. It is something we look forward to. I will write words of love to her and certain things in my heart that I was not able to tell her face to face. It is always a joy to watch her open up her present. The past few years, mother's Day was celebrated with a dinner and a small gift and not much excitement. Last year, we had a simple dinner and my sister on behalf of Reese, got me a pink carnation. It was really lovely but I still find it hard to believe that I am a mother! I just don't feel that I deserve to be honored...hahaha

So this year, I am planning a family dinner and hopefully I can cook up a storm.... ;) and I am going to buy a card and write words of love to my mother again. Maybe for myself I will get a big bouquet of flowers on behalf of Reese?? *wink* .....

Some mothers wanted to spend Mother's Day away from their kids for once (totally understandable) but I just want to be with family. I want us all to have a nice dinner and chat and laugh and enjoy Reese together.

Ps: While writing this post, I realized that I miss my maternal grandmother. Ama.. I love you always.

Phobia

What can I do to help my boy?? :(

Lately, Reese got really scared whenever we go to strangers houses, contained shops/rooms with alot of people and even going into carparks!! He is afraid of sudden burst of laughter or noises from people! He will cling on to you and cry and cry and cry... This happenned once or twice when he was a baby at our church meetings, then once or twice when he was much older and in Penang... it happened again and got worse since he got back...

Yesterday took him to the immigration office to collect his passport..the moment my car went into the carpark...he got cranky and demanded to be taken out of his car seat...the moment we went into the immigration office..he started to cry....

Any suggestions? Is it command? Does it happen to your kids too? I hope it's just a phase....

I love Hokkien mee...

Do you have a Will?

Few days back at my aunt's house, I met this professional will writer from Rockwills. He explained to me why it is important to have a will if you have children. Do you know that should you die without a Will, your properties/money/trust funds and others will automatically go to your child 5o%, husband 25% and parents 25%. If your child is below 18 and your husband decided to sell off the properties... he will not be able to do so until your son is 18!!! The worse thing is, it takes about 2 to 10 years to have all these things transfered to your child and family. No joke. Of course there are also other complications. I always thought that if we have joint name properties, should one of us die, it will automatically go to our spouse. Apparently not. The court will divide the deceased share to his parents, children and wife.

So my dear friends, if you don't have one... better get one done.You don't have to pay for professionals to do it unless you have alot of money and properties to be given away, else make a simple one with a minimum of 1 trustee and 2 witnesses. I am waiting for my friend to send me the will templet and to confirm whether there is a need to go to the commissioner of oath to have it legalized.

If you decide to go for professional services, with Rockwills it's RM650 plus compulsary RM80 to have your will kept with their trustee and another RM100 for..sorry can't remember what. Maybe you can google them up. I think they are a bit expensive. You can do it with a lawyer and better still, do a simple one like what I am going to do. Just make sure your trustee and witnesses know where to find the Will should you die!

Oh...something funny the Will writer shared about some of his wealthy customers. Whenever they travel abroad, they will try to travel separately. This is to avoid dying together and having problems with their Will like how the beneficiaries also died and bla..bla..bla... it all make sense but still finds it hard to believe that people actually go to that extend to protect they money and stuff... Anyway.. Do up a Will if you have children. It's our only way to protect them when we are no longer around!

More photos from Penang

See the sandcastle making toy set?

Our 4th wedding anniversary blue berry cheese cake from my in-laws

Reese enjoying himself at the field

He likes this ball

Having fun with water outside my in-laws porch

Mushroom Soup My Way

Since Reese loves to drink mushroom soup. I had no choice but to learn how to cook it! Hope you like my recipe!

Base stock - Chicken stock with potatoes, carrots, onions and celery. Cook the stock for 1 hour plus and then separate the veges for blending later. The stock can be put into little tubs and be frozen.

What you need for the soup:

Fresh mushroom - 4 button mushrooms diced.

A little bit of onion and garlic.

A little bit of butter.

A little bit of dry thyme

A piece of fried fish ( I usually use kurau) cut it up into little cubes

Some vege (from base stock) blended

Base stock

Half a cup of whipping cream

First fry the onion and garlic with butter. Then add in the mushroom and fry till fragrant. Add the fish and the blended vege, base stock and thyme. Let it boil for 10 to 15 minutes and then add in the whipping cream. Boil another 5 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste. That's it!

You can add pasta to the soup to make it a full meal else take the soup with bread. If you want the soup to be thick, you can add more blended vege or a bit of flour.

Hope you like it.

Reese Latest Food Menu

Breakfast

1. Milk- 6 oz
2. Corn Flakes with milk/ 4 pieces of biscuits/ cheese stick
3. Fruits - Mango/papaya/banana/grapes/orange/kiwi

Lunch

1. Milk- 6 oz
2. Peanut butter banana sandwich/ bread or pasta with homemade mushroom soup/ hand made noodles soup

Tea time

Fruits - Mango/papaya/banana/grapes/orange/kiwi

Dinner

Hand made noodles soup / tomato fish pasta/ creamy bacon pasta/ fried fish with potatoes and carrot

Bedtime

Milk- 6 oz

Middle of the night

Milk - 6 oz

My little one is very choosy with his food. He doesn't like rice or porridge, he doesn't like artificially enhanced sweet stuff like vitagen, he somewhat likes KL hokkien mee and some other fried noddles. I hope Reese will be more open to try new things!! He still doesn't have enough teeth to eat hard or chewy stuff!! So his menu is still limited.

The real thing vs toy

During my recent visit to Penang... hubby and I had a chance to shop. We were talking about drums and then somehow we walked into a music instrument shop. I was curious to find out how much a real drum would cost. We had the impression that real instrument will be much more expensive which is true. But.... we saw this single drum with some African motifs... It's only RM50!!!! gosh..that's quite cheap considering it's a real drum with real sound and it's big too!!!! Then we saw a really small guitar (actually it was a ukelele)...guess how much? It's RM50!!! Next we went to check out drum sticks.... It's only RM9.90! then the percussions... triangle for RM15, shakers less than RM20 and bells... RM9.90.... I consider these things cheap as compared to toy music instruments!

A set of percussion including a tamborine is about RM79.90. It's made of wood..so it's safe for kids. The toy set from Fun Years cost Rm59.90. It's all plastic with lousy sound... Don't you think it's a bargain to get the real stuff for an extra RM20?

So mummies and daddies... before you buy the toy version... go check out the real thing at music instrument shop!! Definately more worth it. :)

Penang trip

We all had a great time in Penang the last 4 days. Reese benefited the most! He got to play with his grandparents alot. My in-laws took him to the field every evening across the house to play ball. It's a first for Reese. At the field he got to run freely and chase after the football. He got to touch and feel different kinds of grass. Then my in-laws took him to the Youth park one of the days where he saw monkeys and got to run and play. On our final day in Penang, we took him to the beach in Batu Feringgi. Reese's first experience with the beach 6 months back was not very pleasant. This time around...better but he is still afraid of the water and also the crashing sound of waves. We bought him a sand castle play set (guilty..promise broken..). Anyway... hehe.. Four adults and a kid at the beach... what did we do? We played sand, built tiny sand castle, played ball and blew bubbles. Reese got to see for the first time boats, jet skis. Oh..they even have horses!!

As for hubby and myself... we got to eat soooo much. Let's see..

Arrival night, it was about 12 past midnight. Reese was sleeping in the car and the moment I took him out of the car and into the house.. he started to cry. Then I tried to calm him down and all..didn't work.. new place..not used to it... so at the end.. took him downstairs.. started to play ball with him...both grandparents were very excited to see him... he was having so much fun untill he didn't want to sleep! I think we all only went to bed around 1 plus or 2 am.

Day 1, we went breakfast and ate wan tan mee, hokkien mee, murtabak. For lunch we went and ate Nasi Kandar at Hamidiyah in Campbell street. It's the best! Then we went shopping at Gurney Plaza, hubby got 2 tshirts and we bought Reese a nice tshirt too. Next we had Ais kacang at New World Park and a bowl of assam laksa. Sooooo stuffed. So no dinner.

Day 2, hubby bought breakfast, We had duck meat porridge, Chee Cheong fun (with special peanut sauce) and wan tan mee. Then we went out for lunch, we ate Char Kuew Teow at Lorong Selamat...It's now RM6.00 with egg and special is RM8.00, we had dinner at home, my sister-in-law made pasta.

Day 3, we went out for breakfast with hubby's Godfather..we had kuew teo teng. Then we went to Queensbay mall for two movies. For dinner we took in-laws and Reese to eat at Baba Nyoya Cuisine at Nagora Street. It's yummy. On our way back we went and tau pau the famous Ling Chee Kang. Oh my mother in law bought a blueberry cheese cake to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. Thank you mom and dad.

Day 4, had breafast... then went to the beach and on the way back we tau pau nasi kandar again from Hamidiyah... and for dinner we had banana leaf rice at new world park. Phew..... see..it's all about food for us..hehe... and we both gain a few kilos no doubt!

It was a great break for us. Here are some pictures taken manually.. our camera was low in battery and only manage a few shots. More picture tomorrow. Check out Reese...

What?

Daddy...play ball...

Enjoying water play

I like this shot... both grandparents and Reese

Playing with the bubbles..

We are in Penang

Hello all... we are having alot of fun in Penang..... actually...Reese is having alot of fun... water fun everyday, youth park, evening ball play with grandparents at the field...and us..we get to go eat eat eat and some shopping and movies...tomorrow we are going to bring him to the beach!!! So much to blog about... will be back on Wednesday...

What will Reese be like when he grows up...

A few months back while lining up(a few hours under light drizzle) with Daddy Reese to get into the stadium for a concert(it was Muse if you must know).... we started observing the people around us and little conversations people were having..

What we saw:

1. Teenagers and college kids were mingling freely with each other, smoking, dancing, trying to get attention... and many with bfs and gfs... oh..also worth a mention..their outrages fashion sense!

2. Behind us were two ladies (in their late 40s) with their children (12 to 14 years old).. sweating away and talking with people around them.

3. A couple in front of us. Probably also in their 40s waiting patiently with their very very tall son ( I suspected the child was autistic).

4. Then there are the other people around our age (30s).

I told Daddy Reese that I don't want Reese to end up being like those naughty kids... dressing in Gothic style or punk... I wonder what parents of these kids do to control them. It's scary to watch these kids doing things that were not appropriate..

Then we begin to listen to what the two aunties behind us were talking about. They were very amused with the whole situation... two aunties totally out of place, not a clue about the performers, they were complaining about the rain, shaking their heads while amused and probably proud that they were 'cool' mummies! :)

Towards the last hour of waiting... I started to pay attention to this couple in front of me. The father was busy finding a comfortable spot on the ground for his son to rest... making sure his son's rain coat was covering all the possible parts of his body, patting his son's back and telling him that they will be in the stadium soon while the mother was busy fanning her son with some pieces of paper. Both were so patient and you can see the amount of love they have for their son. By the way... it was a rock concert and I can tell you.. these parents here were totally out of place!

I asked Daddy Reese, so... you think when you are in your 40s or 50s... you will accompany your son to a rock concert? Are you able to be the 'cool' dad? He looked at me for a while....smiles and said...of course... why not? I wonder whether I can do the same... hahaha...

We really ought to be careful with our children's upbringing..but then again.. we as parents can only do so much. Once they start mixing with the outside world... it's all up to them to decide what's right and what's wrong. Like moomykin said.. we can only pray hard!!

Does parenthood bring out the best in you?

or...does it bring out the worse? Many a time I am surprised by what I can or cannot do just to make the little one happy and comfortable. Have you ever felt like that? Like you pause a moment and think...wow.. I didn't know I am capable of that or damn... why can't I get that right? Why isn't it working?

Then as I navigate deeper into parenthood... I found that I am constantly learning or re-learning things. It started to remind me of many things that I used to take for granted or I simple ignored.

It suddenly dawn on me that parenthood is not just about being a parent to a child but also to parent ourselves. There are still many life lessons to learn from it and very often we are too proud to admit it. We tend to shy away from it. At times we think we know best and only to be disappointed with less than desirable results.

For some of us, listening to our parents cease to exist the moment we gain independence. I know I did and it's not necessarily a good thing. Our folks still got alot of great advice waiting to be heard. Then as our children grow and do things to hurt us, how often do you think back whether you did the same to your parents? and how often their actions actually angered you so much that you begin to hate them? but now that you are going through similar situations... you then realised that those actions that was taken on you years before were actually reasonable and you are also doing the same to your children. Next you know.. you will be thinking... I better treat my parents better or else my kids will end up doing the same to me!! Now that got me thinking... are we genuinely wanted to treat our parents better or simply being selfish because we don't want to end up being treated badly or ignored by our children in the future..

What do you think?

Reese in action (down memory lane)



Reese at 6 months plus



Reese at about 10 months plus

Lazy mother?

Hai... I am such a lazy mum... suppose to make Reese his drum set...so much talk and no actions! :)

I wonder how many of you mummies or daddies feel lazy every now and then... just wish something would drop from the sky and solve all your problems... it happens to me quite often these days... I need a break...

At times, I am too lazy to play with Reese.. so what makes me so lazy? don't know... just one of those days...

What did I do today?

In the morning... update Reese's blog with Reese's never before seen videos..
Cook Reese's 5 days supply of fish pasta sauce.
Clean Reese up after his poo poo.
Change and fed Reese his milk.
Drove him and maid to my mother's place.
Went to teach my first class.
Ate breakfast.
Went to the office to do some work.
Now updating Reese's blog again. :)

Time flies...

Taken on Christmas eve when Reese was almost 3 months old

Reese at 7 months plus



Reese at 3 months plus

I wish I can go back to those special moments we had with our little one.... more videos tomorrow... got to go work now...

Reese in Action...



Reese running away from paparazzi daddy....

A brand new look

Daddy Reese decided to make some changes to the site... so what do you think?

Character Building


I was chatting with a mummy blogger about raising kids. Her concern was to start charcter building in her child ASAP. So how do you do that for a very young child? How do you instill moral values and God's teaching? Honestly I don't know the right way to start... I guess you do it by example? Try explaining to the child?

Teaching a child to be virtuous proofs to be harder and more challenging in our time when children are constantly bombarded with outlandish promises from advertisers and television programming and films filled with lying, violence and sex as entertainment. As a parent I felt weary as to how I am going to help my child to develop virtuous such as respect for themselves and others, honesty and humility just to name a few.

I believe by just being virtuous ourselves and hope the children will learn by example is not sufficient. They also need encouragement, praise and character feedback.

I remembered reading somewhere that one of the basic behavioral principle is this: Children will repeat actions that get them attention from their parents. We need to constantly encourage our children with words or showing faith in their positive potential.

I think it's quite natural for us parents to give negative character feedback. We tend to tell our children things like "Why are you so naughty?" or "Why are you so mean?". If we repeatedly focus on the negative, our children will soon believe us!!
I found this to be pretty good:

52 Character building Thoughts for Children - Leah Davies

1. How I look is not as important as how I act.
2. I treat others the way I want them to treat me.
3. I am a good sport; I follow the rules, take turns and play fair.
4. It is okay to laugh at funny things, but not to laugh at others.
5. I do not gossip; if I cannot say anything helpful, I do not say anything at all.
6. When I am sad, I help myself feel better by thinking of things that are good in my life.
7. In orde to have friends, I must act in a kind way.
8. I believe that I am someone who can do important things.
9. What I say and how I say it tells others the kind of person I am.
10. I appreciate my family, my teachers, and my school.
11. I treat everyone with respect.
12. When I listen, I show others that I care about them.
13. I am being a good citizen when I volunteer to help others.
14. I think for myself and make smart hoices that are good for me.
15. Each day offers a new stat to do my best.
16. I try to understand what my friends are feeling.
17. Everyone makes mistakes, so instead of getting angry with myself, I try to do better.
18. I do not give up; I keep trying until I can do my work.
19. Sharing with others makes me feel good and makes them feel good too.
20. I work out my problems without hurting myself or others.
21. I am being polite when I wait for my turn and say please and thank you.
22. When I smile at people, they usually smile back.
23. I encourage my friends to do their best.
24. My values guide me to do what is right.
25. I am honest; I do not cheat or steal.
26. When I am angry, I use self-control and do not hurt others.
27. I am being creative when I dance, draw, paint or write a poem or story.
28. I say, "No!" to things that could hurt my body like tobacco and alcohol.
29. When I do what I say I will do, I am being responsible.
30. I am grateful for what I have, so I share with others.
31. I try to learn something new each day.
32. When things do not go my way, I stop and think of what I can do to make them better.
33. I do not make fun of other children because I don't know what their life is like.
34. I feel successful when I do my best.
35. Everyone has good and bad feelings.
36. I take care of myself by eating healthy food, exercising and getting enough rest.
37. I am being punctual when I am on time and do not keep people waiting.
38. When I cooperate with others, I get more done.
39. I follow the rules and try to make my school a better place.
40. I like to get to know children who are different from me.
41. Since I tell the truth, my friends trust me.
42. I look for what is good in others and I way what I like about them.
43. I buy only what I need and I save my money.
44. When I use my time wisely, there is usually enough time to do what I want to do.
45. I think before I act; how I act affects how others treat me.
46. Using manners helps me keep my friends.
47. I have courage to stand up for hildren who are teased.
48. Before I do something, I ask myself, "Is it safe?"
49. I am me - I do not try to be like someone else.
50. I care about living things on earth so I recycle and do not litter.
51. When I write down what I think and feel, I learn about myself.
52. I plan ahead and think about what I want to do when I grow up.

Another thing I want to add to the above:
There is a God who loves me dearly and I can always pray and talk to him anytime anywhere.

A day out....

Waiting for the tim sum bill

What? I want to get going

Ok... I will smile try to smile for the camera

Ah mee and me

Ahhhh..... let go of me....

Where next?

mmmm.... nothing like milk...

So where is this place?

Eh.... Lots of space for me to run...

See.... water fall?

At Toys r us playground

So hungry..... seafood chowder anyone?

Funny?

Time to sleep for a while... sooo tired..

We took Reese for tim sum (we had he was just sitting there) in town followed by some window shopping at Midvalley. We spent a record 4 hours there!! Oh... we took Reese for lunch at Manhattan Fish Market (Fish & Co is better and cheaper) and because we were full... Reese alone ate.. He had kiddie meal fish and chips and seafood chowder. His meal cost RM20!! Crazy ah? hahaha... Did I tell you he started to show his terrible two symptoms? He wanted to play with his stroller and when we took it away from him... he screamed and cried sooo loud... It took him a good 2 to 3 minutes to stop! And he just kept wanting things done his way....headache..

Miscellaneous

Yesterday afternoon... after I took off his diaper and was about to shower him... he started to urinate...while urinating.. he observed himself and then suddenly stopped urinating and look at me..and then he said... boot boot... he continued again and tried very hard to do a farting action and said boot boot.... what came out was more urine.....aiyo....it's soooo funny... he did this 3 times before he finish urinating.... I wanted to laugh out loud but stopped myself. :)

Soon... I think he will be ready for potty training....

Reese's speech is improving alot. He will imitate words we say but mostly single words. He has started to speak in 2 word phases and more 2 syllabus words.

New words and phases he knows:

blue car, black car, green car, open door, Ah Mee ceerreee (mummy carry), drink milk, icken (chicken), telfe (twelve) and many more.

He is learning numbers 11-20 and the sounds of the alphabets!

Romance....

Been reading Mummykin and Mumsgather 's blogs about being romantic. As I was reading mummykin's post, I can't help it but smile and keep nodding my head. Yeah.. those were the days.. Ah... how I wish romance is in the air again.... I always say that hubby is not romantic... but thinking back the time when we were courting.... you be the judge... tell me what you think...hehee...

We met on the internet more than 10 years ago. At that time.. online chatting is very new in Malaysia and there were concerns about online friendships. We met on an American chat site and we were probably the only Malaysians there. Was chatting in the public when out of the blue hubby asked.. where are you at if it's 1am in the morning? Ah...and that's when we started chatting. Every night we chat till late... and then being the brave me... I started to make calls... then I started to received cassette tapes with personalized covers and cards and after a year of online friendship.. we met. I think it was close to Christmas and I got a tickle me Elmo from hubby... I knew it was love when he told me that I love you not because of your looks, I don't care whether you are fat... I love YOU as a person. Ah....I melted instantly. There was alot of complications before our meeting but after that... there is no stopping us.

Once we started courting... I knew he is the guy for me, for life... :) We were both poor.. literally. He rides a motorbike and I was always terrified... hehehe... how it hurts my butt if we travel very far on the bike or how we both smelled of dust after a ride...In our 10 years together.. I can count on my fingers how many times he bought me flowers...but the first time..it was memorable... he went to Petaling street and got me some flowers... it was not the nicest bouquet but good enough... he is a very sweet guy...attentive to my every need.

He proposed to me at Lafitte, Shangrila (spelling?) with a nice little diamond ring. It was a wonderful experience.. I remembered during the dinner... he held my hands and said a prayer and through that prayer he ask me to marry him.... *wink* romantic right?

On my 29th birthday... he surprised me with a beautiful card that he made. It says.. Happy birthday Ah Girl..... :)

When I was pregnant.... he will give me massages, serve me like a maid too! I LOVE my husband. Oh...the best part...during labour... he would hold my hand sooooooo tight and squeezes it whenever the midwife ask me to push... he would do the breathing exercise with me... it was really funny... he kept saying....
"Girl... push....ooowsh...oowsh....pushhhhh....ooowsh...ooowsh..." even thou I was in pain and tired... I managed to laugh at him and told him to calm down..haha.

Sad to say... after Reese was born.... romance was no longer in the air.... instead...we became very practical... always tired, stressed at times.... I am a person who constantly needs to be held, touched, hugged, kissed.... but looks like I am the one doing it...he is very woodenLAH... but I think I will definitely look into ways to bring the romance back.... I miss those time...but..at times it just feels weird...like one of the mummy blogger commented.. It's weird to be romantic again..haha....

I have tried hugging hubby and kissing him in front of Reese... hoping Reese will learn to kiss us! Reese will just look at us blankly...or just smile but it's ok...it feels good.

Whenever we are close, we will touch each other in little ways like rubbing our fingers together, holding hands, little massages.... I am working on it....

We need to invest in our relationship for our children will leave us to have their own life one day.

Funny

I find these funny.

Of late, whenever Reese farts, he will then look at you sheepishly and then laugh. After that... he will say boot boot... hahaha...

He also likes to look at the mirror or any surface that shows his reflection. He will dance, clap, move his hands up and down or watch himself throws a ball. He will call himself 'reees'

Our children's dreams

I always love working with children. Unlike us, their dreams are infinite. It's inspiring to listen to their dreams. Children start dreaming at an early age. They think about their future career, their education, wealth and so on. Their dreams can be enormous!!

As parents, we have control over whether our children achieve their dreams. For the children, parents are motivation, inspiration and leadership in other words their role model. At times we might think that our child's dreams are unrealistic. That is the negative adult in us. If you think about it, we are probably the only support they have. We should believe in them because they believe in themselves.

Don't deny their dreams

Children dream big and to them everything is possible. That is great isn't it? It should be that way. If we deny our children's dreams, or their right to dream, we are undermining their chances of achievement.

Don't get in the way

We get in the way when we deny their dreams, control them, deny them a good education, don't teach them life skills and etc.

Our goal as parents is to meet our parental obligations and provide a path toward success for our children to follow. If we cut off our children before they even get started, it doesn't just crush them right now, it will negatively impact them in their adult life.

Good role models

In many ways...we are the key to our children's success in life. Agree?

Nurture them

As children grows, they will develop certain interest and some might turn into dreams. We should show them how and help lead the way to achieve these dreams. We should help them record down their dreams. Do some research about it and expose the them to the information available, practical experiences. Don't over do it. Start with basics. Along the way... help them chart the little progress or achievements they make.

I hope Reese doesn't ask to the first man on some planet... I don't think I have the resources ....then again... I must not be negative... happy parenting!

Reese in action II

Reese playing with the gym ball and see how he tried to carry it... hehehe...

Reese in action I

This video was taken last Sunday evening after dinner at 1U. Reese was trying to dance to some hip hop music and towards the end of the video...you get to see how he runs freely in shopping malls. We practically have to run after him most of the time now! The moment his feet touches the floor... he will run and run and run...

Can you let go?

Few weeks back at my Growth group, one of our church elder said something very interesting. He has 3 children, eldest in college and youngest is 12 years old. He said that his priority now has shifted to his wife. His number 1 priority is his wife. His children? well... he said..eventually they will go and have their own life and what's left will be just him and his wife!! So... should invest more on his wife! hahaha....

Come to think of it, it's true... no matter how much you invest in your children...they will eventually leave you and start a life of their own. Can you let go? After years of nurturing and loving and everything under the sun...can you let go?

** I know...my son is only 18 months.. hehe...

Mother of a son

I always knew during my pregnancy that I will have a baby boy. It's a very strong feeling and I just can't explain it and true enough, I now have a healthy boy who is growing very fast.

I always tell my husband that you should be happy because you got a son. You can basically teach him everything you want him to know about being a boy and man. You can relive your boyhood and give him what you didn't have before. It's a boy thing!

As for me, I want to be as close as I can to my son, I want to be his best friend. I hope when he is an adult, I get to be close to him and be involved in his life.

I used to hate guys who are mummy's boy. Now that I am a mother, I am in a dilemma. I don't want my boy to be a mummy's boy and yet... I want to be close to him... you know what I mean?

During my confinement, my in-laws were with me for 3 weeks to help me out. I did not hire a confinement lady and my mother was busy and can only cook my meals. During that 1 month, I realised that I longed for my mother nearly every hour or so!! My mother-in-law was great but still I yearn for my mother and I am happiest when my mother came visiting during my confinement. I remembered I tried to fight back tears when I saw her and my sister!! I think it's a natural thing that you would prefer your own mother to anybody else.

When I became a mother, I tried to let my parents-in-law to be as involved as possible with Reese whenever they visit. They love Reese so much.

It's interesting that most mothers that I chat with, they will tell me how they prefer their mother in law to stay out of their pregnancy and post pregnancy. They are not mean, it's just that they prefer their own mother! They are more comfortable, they can be themselves! It's a girl thing? I had the same feeling at times but I am very grateful to my in-laws for helping out.....I know I want my in-laws to be involved because I want Reese's future wife to be comfortable with me and allow me to be involved in her pregnancy and post pregnancy... I want to bath my grandson... I want to help...I want to be close to my son's children!!!

Mummies with boys... what's your take on this? Do share your thoughts!

Lake Gardens 

Waiting for food at our favorite noodle stall in town

Check out the fountain...Reese loves fountain

Exploring the place

Lots of space to run around..

Scared... Reese hates confined places... He prefers the open slides

Back in his car seat after a one month plus break...

Getting tired...

No more energy...

We had a great time at the Lake Gardens last Sunday. Suppose to go to the cemetery with family but it was postpone. This is our second time there. It was very warm though. We let Reese run around, went to his favorite fountain and then the playground. 

Family portrait at Lake Gardens

I found THE alphabet blocks!

I have been searching for those classic wooden alphabet blocks and after months of searching...I found it!!! Yess.... these blocks are big and it comes with both upper and lower case alphabets.. 

Ah... I have started to teach Reese phonics sounds... but he is more interested in taking away my alphabet cards... Once he knows the sound..I am going to use the blocks to teach him how to read words! I for see a very very long process..... he may be a little young for it but heck... no harm trying...hahaha..... 

This is not a toy....but you can certainly play with it! :) I bought it at this shop call Choo Choo Train at The Gardens, Midvalley. It is RM79.90(www.wonderworldtoy.com). I found something similar but made in China and the finishing is a bit rough and too small. I am not sure about the paint they use. At least this one is made in Thailand and has won some award and it says non toxic paint. So go get it if you are looking for blocks like these... they can be very versatile in teaching children.... 

How to discipline children my way.....

First thing to remember... Children below the age of 4... they are totally innocent!

At this age...they are filled with curiosity, creativity, loads of energy.....the list goes on...in short..it's their right to explore everything around them, It's not their fault if they create a tornado in your house! It's their right.... they are learning.... it's from the mess they learn about the different texture of things, be it wet or dry, silky or rubbery... the various music and sound things create when thrown on the floor, consequences of pain, cold, hot..... you know what I mean?

We want the best for your kids, we want them to be safe and thus...more than 85% of the time... we will tell them NO. We are so afraid that they might hurt themselves, they will catch a cold, they will get sick......the list goes on and on.... but if you think about it... a lot of it..it's unnecessary worrying. We are limiting their ever expanding world. We are confining them to our little perfect world. We always think that they are not ready for this and that...

Look at how our ancestors brought up their children? Hygiene is at the minimal, play time is at the maximum! Children those days had probably 1 or no jabs from the pediatrician and definitely hardly any visit to the doctor's clinic and yet they have better immunity!(partly blame the food and environment) Half the time the kids will play half naked in and out of the house and yet they are ok... there is a saying in Hokkien. 'La sum jiak, La sum tuah'. Direct translation: eat dirty, grow up dirty.... eerrr.. did I get the saying wrong? not surelah... hahaha... Have to ask my aunt.... anyone can help? ahaha..so embarrassing...

Anyway... What I am trying to say is...we should be more relax... but of course..we also have to keep an eye on our kids...and there should be a certain limit to everything... Over the years, I have learned that being SUPER PATIENT is really the key to discipling children. So how do I do it?

Easy...be their friend and treat them like one. Always explain to them why certain actions are wrong and the consequences of doing them... it doesn't always work..but believe it or not... it's the foundation. Next I always ask them, If I did the same actions to you... how would you feel? Or tell them how you feel about certain actions, how it hurts you..... You think it's too deep for the kids? nah... they are smarter than you... ;) ok...maybe sometimes they don't but hey... it works in the long run. It teaches them to think of others! Oh...always give them some time to ponder about the above...leave them for a few minutes. It gives you some time to compose yourself and to be calm again.

Then... for repeated offenses, there must be some form of punishment... like taking away their favorite toy, no TV, stand at a corner, go to your room and the likes... make sure they know you mean business! Else they will manipulate you! You have to be firm when it comes to punishment. If they whine or sulk and throw tantrum... you just calmly tell them why a certain punishment.. and then leave them for a while to think about it! Do it often enough...they will seriously think twice before doing something again. Of course...there are children who will have no fear or they rather not have a certain thing and will continue to repeat those offenses... again..we just have to persevere and control our anger. ONE DAY.... the child will learn... :)

Oh...but always tell them you love them very much. At the end of the punishment... always hug them and give them alot of kisses!

Scolding is fine as long as you don't belittle the child. No verbal abuses.
Spanking, mmmm... if possible don't do it but if you must...make sure it's only on a certain parts of the body. Never slap a child... that is very humiliating.

As for children older than 4 , mmmm... more or less the same concept but with even more patience and determination! And reverse psychology comes into play even more. I used to teach some kids who were very spoilt and naughty. Their parents will totally surrender to them! These kids were very manipulative. They know who to bully, they have changed countless of tutors and only the fierces tutors survived. So when I came along... the parents warn me about them and gave me the green light to use the cane whenever necessary. Wow! These were my first students and they were with me for nearly 10 years! and I never need to use the cane when others have to. They were so used to caning that they will never shed a tear and yet... when I reason with them and scold them once in a while... you can see tears flooding their eyes! The power of reasoning is fantastic. The best thing was... they respect you.

So always make sure that your children respect you! Try not to break promises and be firm when you say no and when you punish them. Don't ever do it half heartedly. Don't let them see your weakness..else they will again manipulate you... these little ones... oh boy..they are real smart. ;)

Again exercise patience and persevere!

For teens... this is the most difficult... you need extreme (infinite at times) patience and determination! Haha... I think children at this stage is the most difficult.. you have to be their 'cool' friend and a parent at the same time... not easy... discipling them... at times it is almost r impossible... but remember.. be a role model and never contradict yourself or be a hypocrite else they will use it against you big time! Make sure when you carry out any form of punishment.. it is properly explained to them so that they understand it. Never punish them when you are angry. Talk to them about their actions and then give them and yourself some time to think about it before you punish. Kids at this age are extremely rebellious. Ah.... it's just tough but can be done... again...give them a lot of love and assurance.

Hai.... I hope I am able to do all these with Reese... so far so good... never beaten him and never really scolded him before...

So mummies... work on it...PATIENT PATIENT PATIENT.....

Discipline and doing it right..

I come from a typical Chinese family where occasionally I get spanked (up to 6 years old) or severe scolding (till teens) from my parents and extended family members. Oh...once my aunt who was very sick got so upset with me that she went to the kitchen and took a chopper (no joke) and cornered me, raised it up in front of me and threatened to chop me up if I don't immediately shut up and stop crying! I never forget that... can't remember how old I was..probably around 5?

I guess I was quite lucky as compared to my cousins (maternal). They were lashed with belts, spanked, slapped, verbal abuse and severe scolding. My uncles love their children but I personally felt that their approach in disciplining their kids... may be a little wrong and too much. Even my mom was quite violent at times..haha.. anyway... they all meant well but sometimes.. they are also doing it out of anger (which we kids cannot understand) and that became something very personal.

I sometimes wonder why our ancestors use these methods. I don't know..but my impression is that we Chinese are always using force to discipline the young. I remembered those days when my aunties and my mom would describe the kind of abuse my maternal grandmother used inflict on one of my deceased uncle. Kneel on shells, uses the chopstick to twist his fingers and even using chilies as a mean of punishment...I can't remember whether he was forced to eat it or kneel on it....violent huh? but to me... my grandmother is someone I love dearly...

There are severe consequences when force is used. Children who are discipline with force will end up more unstable emotionally, more defiant, low self esteem, rebellious and probably will use the same method on their children.

Many a time when I go shopping, I will see parents openly scold or spank their children. One thing I hate... slapping a kid on the face! I felt so bad for these kids. How I wish I can educate these parents....not that I am perfect..but at least they should be taught the right way....

I do not believe in beating or verbal abuse as a form of discipline or punishment. It doesn't really work. Even if it does, it's only short term.

I just don't understand how a parent can hit their own flesh and blood... I can't.

Ah....so lazy to continue...next post..will talk about my way of disciplining children..and it works for the last 12 years... even the most difficult children I was able to discipline them in a positive way!

Mummies... I know... you may think that... I am a little bias here..but hey... seriously... even the most terrible kid... there is a better way to get to them! What we need is a lot of patience and determination and most of all.... we need to learn to control our anger.