Dear readers, yesterday I posted 2 articles that were anti-spanking and it was pointed out by a reader that these articles are based on the assumption that spanking is abusive. You can read his comment from the previous post.
As Asians, spanking is a common tool for disciplining and almost all Asians use it. Am I totally against spanking? Well, I understand that there are children who just cannot be disciplined any other ways or children that are smart enough to pretend and get things done their way.
From personal experience..... witnessing people spanking/beating their children... it's mostly out of anger and at times it was abusive. Spanking done out of anger is wrong. That much is clear.
As a teacher, personal experience shows that spanking is the least effective tool and worse.. it kills self esteem of the child.
So I am 90% against it. Actually my real concern is the long term effects from spanking. How it effects the child emotionally, relationship with parents and etc.
So readers, share your thoughts on this. Let's have a discussion! Please post your comments and feel free to say whatever you want. No vulgar words thou. :)
5 comments:
I think there is a method to spank - i.e. on the buttocks or other safe places.
And spanking should not be done alone. After spanking, there should be an explanation that follows. Also spanking should be final form of punishment, and the 'crime' must be of serious nature. Simple misdeeds do not require spanking.
Also I reckon spanking is ok for small misdeeds if on previous occasions the child has already been warned of the outcome IF he repeated it.
Sometimes physical hurt is better than emotional hurt/resentment that can be caused in mother and child when mum scolds repeatedly at the child who just doesn't listen and follow!
That's my opinion.
I fully agree with whan Ann said.
I do not spank my kids in anger, think that makes the difference. Spanking done in anger could lead to abusive but done with a cool head does not.
I will usually gives amber warnings, from slow talk to withdrawing benefits to warnings. If my girls still repeat the same, then I will have to carry out my threat..Before and after apanking, I make sure my girls know why they are being punished and if they think they deserved it.
After the "cooling" time, I will hugged and talk again to her.
My relationship with my girls are totally unaffected with the spanking and they know that mommy loves them, that's why mommy bother to discipline them.
This is a reliable article on Spanking - why, when and how by Roy Lessin - http://doctorcabokia.blogspot.com/2008/07/spanking-why-when-and-how.html
Just going to reiterate what I posted previously: Dr. Sax has some great stuff to say in "Why Gender Matters". Highly recommended.
~Luke
I think one or two spanks on their clothed bottom is fine. I was stripped naked and whipped with a strap from head to toe, and that was abusive. If you don't know the difference between spanking and abuse you shouldn't have kids.
Post a Comment