Major drama yesterday evening, while I was cooking daddy looked after Reese. After a good ten minutes or so, Reese started his tantrum, so much so he started to ask for something that he really didn't want. He just got up from his nap not too long ago. He asked for water, when given to him, he didn't want it but when daddy took it away he screamed for it and then cry. So daddy gave him water and he refused it and it went on for a while. I came out of the kitchen and tried to give him water but he refused and then ask for it when I took it away.... so daddy got sooooo mad that he shouted at him to stop and I did the same at the same time but a bit softer. Still didn't work....
Told him he is going to eat his noodles.... and when he saw it, he was screaming for it.... put him in his high chair...still crying and screaming until daddy couldn't take it anymore and 'piak' his hand...really hard (first time so hard) until he immediately kept quiet. IMMEDIATE!! Wow...
I was not happy because I don't believe in beating. So when I saw his hand was puffy and red.... I just control myself and told hubby, next time if you wanted to beat, please do so on the butt. I am a little angry too but I controlled myself, if daddy wants to use this method to discipline, I can't say no if it's reasonable and as parents we have to support each other. Hai...what to do... not everyone can be so patient.
I was not happy because I don't believe in beating. So when I saw his hand was puffy and red.... I just control myself and told hubby, next time if you wanted to beat, please do so on the butt. I am a little angry too but I controlled myself, if daddy wants to use this method to discipline, I can't say no if it's reasonable and as parents we have to support each other. Hai...what to do... not everyone can be so patient.
Anyway... after that...Reese didn't cry at all and just watch his Mickey and ate his noodles like nothing happened at all. Crazy I tell you.
Over dinner, hubby and I were very quiet and after a long time I asked him whether he is still mad at his son. Then we started talking.... then hubby felt guilty....hahahaha... after dinner we played with Reese.... Reese was very happy and daddy felt even more guilty...checking his hand to see whether the redness has gone.... Daddy was super guilty...can see it on his face...hugging his son and all.... hehehehe.....
I am glad that I didn't argue with my husband, maybe it's ok for that occasional smack. I don't know, all I know is that whatever discipline style we are going to use on Reese, we both must agree and support each other. Otherwise, it's not going to work and the little smarty pants will know how to manipulate the situation next time.
I still don't believe in beating or spanking or whatever you wanna call that.... :) But I was really impressed by it, instant reaction from Reese, immediately stop shouting and crying. Just like that. It's definitely a very tempting option. In fact super tempting...because we get instant results... BUT no, it's not how I want to bring up my child.
5 comments:
At least Reese stopped after the beating. Darren never afraid of beating. I beat him until my hand also pain, he is like felt nothing.
Hubby said it is time to get a cane. Well, no matter how much I dun agree with spanking (like u), I am not opposing it now coz it is getting harder to manage his tantrums nowadays.
Yeah..he stopped but my heart feels so painful seeing that 'piak' even though it's only one piak...hehehe
anyway... I will allow that since it's coming from his own daddy and daddy only does it when he really really cannot tahan his tantrums....
Wah...getting a cane ah? well.... it will work...but .... got to becareful and not let it get out of handloh... like I said, the result is superb... but the consequences in the long run for the child may not be the case....
Juz wondering that before this occasion, how did u and hubby discipline Reese? Seeing that u guys had not really lay a hand on him since he was young but still so well behaved.
Hubby and I have very opposing methods of discipling Ryan. We constantly argue over this. He believes in firmness and spanking. I actually didn;t want to but had no choice but to give in coz Ryan was not scared of me.
leona,
Previously? Most of the time, we use distraction or just tell him cannot if it fails we just try to avoid giving in and if it's small matter, we give in.
I must say... Reese was never a difficult child until now he starts to really throw tantrum...but distraction still works or we just let him throw his tantrum or cry and usually for about 2 to 5 minutes he will just stop and we will reason with him and then he is ok.
But now, with the terrible two...it's getting on our nerves..or at least on daddy's...haha... I still don't believe in spankingloh.
Dr James Dobson has very good books on this topic.
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